Animal jokes

//Animal jokes

Animal jokes



Animal jokes 

Q: What do you call a gorilla wearing ear-muffs?
A: Anything you like! He can’t hear you!

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?
A: Cockerpoodledoo.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a fish with an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks!.

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Q: What has 6 legs, 4 eyes, 4 ears, 2 noses, 2 mouths and 2 heads?
A: A man sitting on a horse.

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Q: Why did the chicken get in trouble?
A: Because it used fowl language!

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Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them!

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Q: What’s spotted and bouncy?
A: A leopard on a trampoline!

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Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A: To the reTAIL store.

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Q: What do you call an alligator who is a thief?
A: A crookodile .

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Q: Why don’t they play cards in Africa?
A: There are too many Cheetahs!

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Q: Why did the frog go to the mall?
A: Because it wanted to go hopping.

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Q: What time does a duck wake up?
A: At the quack of dawn!

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Q: What kind of animal goes OOM?
A: A cow walking backwards!

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Q: What are caterpillars afraid of?
A: Dogger-pillars.

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Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!

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Q: What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A: A swordfish!

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Q: What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?
A: Squash!

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Q: What’s a puppy’s favorite kind of pizza?
A: Pupperoni.

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Q: Where do cows go on Saturday night?
A: To the mooooooovies.

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Q: What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?
A: The police had to comb the area.

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Q: What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?
A: A Dogwood!



Q: What do camels use to hide themselves?
A: Camelflauge!

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A: A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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Q: What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A: A computer mouse.

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Q: What kind of dog always runs a fever?
A: A hot dog!

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Q: How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A: A phew.

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Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish.

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Q: What do fish take to stay healthy?
A: Vitamin sea.

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Q: What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?
A: A coat of arms.

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Q: What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.
A: A cow on a skateboard.

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Q: What’s a dog’s favorite food for breakfast?
A: Pooched eggs.

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Q: What pine has the longest needles?
A: A porcupine.

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Q: What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?
A: A kitten.

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Q: What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A: Is that you mommy?

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Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they are black and white.

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Q: Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A: A dino-sewer.

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Q: Why can’t hippos ride bicycles?
A: Bike helmets don’t fit hippos!

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Q: What is a lion’s favorite state?
A: Maine

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Q: What is a horse’s favorite sport?
A: Stable tennis!

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Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: The chicken wasn’t around yet.

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Q: What do you give a pig with a rash?
A: Oinkment.

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Q: What is a shark’s favorite sandwich?
A: Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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Q: Why did the elephant leave the circus?
A: He was tired of working for peanuts.

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Q: What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
A: Anything you like, he can’t hear you.

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Q: Why do you bring fish to a party?
A: Because it goes good with chips.

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Q: What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
A: Its shadow!

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Q: What do you call a thieving alligator?
A: A crookodile

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Q: Why did the cat go to Minnesota?
A: To get a mini soda!

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Q: What do you call a fish without an eye?
A: Fsh!

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Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!

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Q: What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A: A lawn moo-er.

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Q: What is the snake’s favorite subject?
A: Hiss-story

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Q: Why did the lamb cross the road?
A: To get to the baaaaarber shop!



Q: What is a cheetahs favorite food?
A: Fast food!

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Q: Where does an elephant pack his luggage?
A: In his trunk!

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Q: What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A: Stuck!

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Q: Where does a ten ton elephant sit?
A: Anywhere it wants to!

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Q: What would happen if pigs could fly?
A: The price of bacon would go up.

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Q: What kind of cat should you never play games with?
A: A cheetah!

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?
A: A tyrannosauraus wreck!

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Q: What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?
A: A woolen jumper!

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Q: What is a cow’s favorite place?
A: The mooseum.

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Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He made an illegal ewe turn.

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Q: What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
A: Use a pen.

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Q: What’s an alligator’s favorite drink?
A: Gator-Ade.

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Q: What do you call a messy hippo?
A: A hippopota-mess!

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Q: What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A: A dino-sore!

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Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt zebra.

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Q: Where do horses live?
A: In the neigh-borhood.

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Q: What is a frog’s favorite year?
A: Leap Year

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: What did the dog say to the flea?
A: Stop bugging me!

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Q: What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
A: As far away as possible.

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Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
A: It gave a little wine!

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Q: What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A: A car only has one horn.

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Q: What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?
A: Me-ow!

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Q: What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A: A watch dog.

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

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Q: What do you call an exploding monkey?
A: A baboom!

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Q. How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
A. Put him in the front seat.

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Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
A: Time to get a new bed!

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Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don’t work.

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Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: In a river bank!’

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Q: What do whales eat?
A: Fish and ships.

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Q: How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
A: With flood lighting.

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: Because the chicken was on vacation.

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Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny.

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Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A blushing zebra.

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Q: What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?
A: Five after one.

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Q: What did the frog say when he heard “time flies when you are having fun?”
A: Time is fun when you’re having flies!

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Q: How are elephants and trees alike?
A: They both have trunks!

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Q: What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!

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Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation?
A: The baaaahamas

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Q: Where do orcas hear music?
A: Orca-stras!

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Q: What is black ,white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt penguin!

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Q: Where do you put barking dogs?
A: In a barking lot.

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Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No I deer!

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Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer!

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Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!

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Q: What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
A: The banana split!

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Q: What did the sardine call the submarine?
A: A can of people.

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Q: What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?
A: Sir.

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Q: What do you call a mad elephant?
A: An earthquake.

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Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Because they don’t fit on a ironing board!

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Q: Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A: At the baa-baa shop.

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Q: What do you call a cow that twitches?
A: Beef jerky

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Q: What do you call a dog with a Rolex?
A: A watch dog.

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Q: What does a calf become after it’s 1 year old?
A: 2 years old.

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Q: What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?
A: Decalfinated!

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Q: How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
A: There are footprints in the butter.

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Q: What’s black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
A: Three skunks fighting over a pickle!

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Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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Q: What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?
A: A mouse on vacation.

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Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!

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Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the shell station.

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Q: What part of a fish weighs the most?
A: The scales.

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Q: What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
A: An udder failure.

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Q: What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
A: Glass flippers.

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Q: What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
A: With a cowculator.

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Q: Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
A: Catfish

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Q: What is King Arthur’s favorite fish?
A: A swordfish

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Q: Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
A: Because his feet stink!

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Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
A: Do you want to grab a bite?

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Q: What do you call a cow in a tornado?
A: A milkshake!

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Q: Why was the cat afraid of a tree?
A: Because of the bark!

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Q: What is the quietest kind of a dog?
A: A hush puppy.

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Q: How is a dog like a telephone?
A: It has a collar I.D.

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Q: Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?
A: To hide in a bag of M&M’s.

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Q: How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
A: Plug its nose.

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Q: What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?
A: A shampoodle!

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Q: What’s worse than a centipede with athlete’s foot?
A: A porcupine with split ends!

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: A try and try and try-ceratops!

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Q: What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?
A: Bison!

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Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can’t tuna fish.

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Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!

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Q: How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
A: Squeaky clean!

Last animal jokes

Q: How does a dog stop a video?
A: He presses the paws button.

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Q: What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
A: Take the words out of his mouth!

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Q: Why do cows go to New York?
A: To see the moosicals!

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Q: Why does a dog wag its tail?
A: Because there’s no one else to wag it for him.

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Q: What do you call a pig that’s been arrested for dangerous driving?
A: A road hog.

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Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A: Porkchop!

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Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, peanuts don’t talk.

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Q: Which day do fish hate?
A: Fryday!

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Q: What is a cat’s favorite movie?
A: The sound of Mew-sic!



Q: What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
A: Lilly.

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Q: Where do mice park their boats?
A: At the hickory dickory dock.

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Q: Why did the dog cross the road twice?
A: He was trying to fetch a boomerang!

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Q: What do you get when you plant a frog?
A: A cr-oak tree.

By | 2018-02-23T21:49:55+00:00 juli 12th, 2017|Funny jokes|0 Comments

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