Anti jokes

//Anti jokes

Anti jokes



Anti jokes

▶ I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
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▶ The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
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▶ The shoemaker did not deny his apprentice anything he needed. He gave his awl.
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▶ When William joined the army he disliked the phrase ‘fire at will’.
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▶ To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
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▶ Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.
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▶  Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.
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▶ Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I’m excited to see how they turn out.
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▶ I usually take steps to avoid elevators.
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▶ There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.
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▶ I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.
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▶ When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
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▶ A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. ‘Are you the friar?’ he asks. ‘No. I’m the chip monk,’ he replies.
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▶ I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
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▶ Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’.
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▶ The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
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▶ I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.
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▶ I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
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▶ I think Santa has riverfront property in Brazil. All our presents came from Amazon this year.
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▶ Some people’s noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.
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▶ I try wearing tight jeans, but I can never pull it off.
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▶ What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.
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▶ I like my coffee like my women.
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▶ What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.
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▶ I don’t trust these stairs because they’re always up to something.
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▶ I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
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▶ My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
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▶ Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.
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▶ I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.
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▶ If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5, you both have $5.
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▶ What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.
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▶ I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it. Anti humor Jokes
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▶ What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
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▶ I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
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▶ I tried talking about our future but she just kept bringing up my past. It was a tense conversation.



▶ A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
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▶ Chuck Norris walked into a bar. He was greeted with much respect considering he was a talented actor.
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▶ People are choosing cremation over traditional burial. It shows that they are thinking out of the box.
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▶ A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, “What’ll it be?” The duck doesn’t say anything because it’s a duck.
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▶ Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
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▶ I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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▶ I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
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▶ It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
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▶ I used to be a banker but I lost interest
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▶ No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.
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▶ Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
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▶ What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway).
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▶ Don’t trust people who do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.
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▶ Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Anti Jokes List
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▶ He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
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▶ Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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▶ A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
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▶ Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.
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▶ Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time-consuming.
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▶ There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass’.
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▶ Your mom’s so old, she’s probably going to die soon.
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▶ I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!
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▶ I tried to look up impotence on the Internet but nothing came up.
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▶ What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing – but it let out a little whine.
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▶ The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
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▶ The roundest knight at king Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
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▶ Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine. Best anti Jokes
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▶ Why did the capacitor kiss the diode? He just couldn’t resistor.
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▶ Did you hear about the crime that happened in a parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
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▶ My new theory on inertia doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.
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▶ Two black guys go into a convenience store, Pay for their stuff and leave.
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▶ What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? “Where’s my tractor?
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▶ Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
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▶ My elderly aunt loves telling jokes while she knits. She is a real knitwit.
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▶ Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

By | 2017-10-24T20:49:29+00:00 juli 30th, 2017|Funny jokes|0 Comments

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