Doctor jokes

//Doctor jokes

Doctor jokes



Doctor jokes

▶ Did you hear about the latest birth control pill for men?
– You take it the day after. It changes your blood type.

▶ What did the vampire doctor shout out in his waiting room?
-‘Necks please!’

 

 

▶ Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk past the pill coubord quietly?
-So she wouldn’t wake the sleeping pills!!!!

 

 

▶ How are enemas and divorces alike?
-At first they are both pretty crappy but in the long run they feel pretty good!

 

 

▶ What’s the difference between a marriage and a mental hospital?
– At a mental hospital you have to show improvement to get out.

 

 

▶ What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money?
-“Do you see any change in me?”

 

▶Why do doctors slap babies’ butts right after they’re born?
-To knock the penises off the smart ones.

 

▶ My intent was to carry out my duty as a doctor, to end their suffering. Unfortunately, that entailed, in their cases, ending of the life.

 

▶ The doctor who diagnosed me with ALS, or motor neuron disease, told me that it would kill me in two or three years.

 

▶ Police boxes, tweed blazers and bow ties feel quite English, but I think that is one of his virtues, one of the strengths of ‘Doctor Who.’

 

▶ Lipitor is one of the most researched medicines. I’m glad I take Lipitor, as a doctor, and a dad.

 

▶ I don’t have to go to a doctor and have my face changed. It terrifies me that women do that.

 

▶ You know, I look to myself mainly as a creative writer all my life and a medical d

 

▶ When I was a child, I had wax in my ears. Dad didn’t take me to the doctor, he used me as a night light.

 

▶ When I was born, the doctor looked at my mother and said, ‘Congratulations, you have an actor!’

 

▶ You’re old when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

 

▶ The kind of doctor I want is one who when he’s not examining me is home studying medicine.

 

▶ You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back.

 

▶ I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places; he told me to quit going to those places.

By | 2017-10-23T20:17:13+00:00 juli 12th, 2017|Funny jokes|0 Comments

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