▶ You’re so fat, you sweat gravy.
▶ Your ass is so fat, your asshole is mistaken for the blackhole.
▶ You’re so fat, when you take a shower your feet don’t get wet!
▶ You know you’re fat when no one has mentioned you’re also ginger.
▶ You’re so fat, you leave footprints in concrete.
▶ You’re so fat, when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the HOUSE.
▶ At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn’t hit me in the face.
▶ Roses are red, and bananas are yellow yo mama so fat she giggle like jellow.
▶ You’re so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit.
▶ You’re so fat your belly button has an echo echo echo…
▶ You’re so fat your shadow casts a shadow.
▶ I see you were so impressed with your first chin that you added two more.
▶ Get off your high horse! You’re too fat and the horse is in pain.
▶ Every time someone calls you fat I get so depress I cut myself… a piece of cake.
▶ You’re so fat, when God said let their be light, he said get your fat ass out the way.
▶ You’re so fat, when you wear a yellow rain coat people scream “taxi”.
▶ You’re so fat, a picture of you would fall off the wall!
▶ Damn! How long have you been pregnant?
▶ You’re so fat, if you got your shoes shined, you’d have to take their word for it!
▶ You’re so fat, you have to strap a beeper on your belt to warn people you are backing up.
▶ You’re so fat, when you get bored of eating donuts, you shove two up your ass for the winter.
▶ Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
▶ People like you are the reason I work out.
▶ Hey, you have somthing on your chin… no, the 3rd one down.
▶ You’re so fat, when you get into row boat it becomes a submarine.
▶ You’re so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC.
▶ There are more calories in your stomach than in the local supermarket!
▶ When you stepped on the scale I thought my phone number popped up.
▶ You have enough fat to make another human.
▶ You’re so fat, your double chin has a double chin.
▶ Everyone stop insulting him, he has enough on his plate already.
▶ You’re so fat, you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad.
▶ You must be on the seafood diet. When you see food, you eat it!
▶ I’ve been told that inside every fat person, there’s someone beautiful… I’m just wondering who the hell you ate?
▶ You didn’t fall out of the stupid tree. You were dragged through dumbass forest.
▶ When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
▶ You’re so fat, I took a picture of you last Christmas and it’s still printing.
▶ You look like a before picture.
▶ I’m not saying you’re fat, but it looks like you were poured into your clothes and someone forgot to say “when”.
▶ Behind every fat person there’s someone beautiful. No seriously, you’re in the way.
▶ You’re so fat, you could sell shade.
▶ Are you in some kind of fitness protection program?