▶ I’d like to see things from your point of view but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass.
▶ You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back.
▶ Behind every fat woman there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, your in the way.
▶ You were beautiful in my dreams, but a fucking nightmare in reality.
▶ Yo’re so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.
▶ Did you hear about the two bald guys who put their heads together? They made an ass out of themselves!
▶ You’re lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar.
▶ I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.
▶ People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright.
▶ I believe in respect for the dead, in fact I could only respect you if you were dead.
▶ You’re so dumb, when you were born, your mom should have been arrested for smuggling dope.
▶ It’s better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
▶ I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.
▶ If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ level.
▶ You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.
▶ If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
▶ Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.
▶ It’s scary to think that people like you are graduating from college.
▶ I would ask you how old you are but I know you can’t count that high.
▶ If I got a penny for everyone I’ve met who is as beautiful as you, I’d have all the money in the world.
▶ I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.
▶ When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.
▶ Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
▶ I’ll hit you so hard by the time you come down, you’ll need a passport and plane ticket back.
▶ They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.
▶ You tell people you live just up the street from the corner of Walk and Don’t Walk.
▶ If I ever need a brain transplant, I’d choose yours because I’d want a brain that had never been used.
▶ You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you.
▶ I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.
▶ How many times do I have to flush to get rid of you?