Jew jokes

//Jew jokes

Jew jokes

Jew jokes

Q: How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish?
When he goes to confession, he takes a lawyer with him.
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Q: Why did the Jew soundproof his house?
So his kids couldn’t hear the ice cream truck.
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Q: Did you hear about the new jewish tire coming out this summer?
It not only stops you on a dime but it picks it up too.
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Q: A Jew walks in to a wall with a boner. What hits first?
His nose.
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Q: ow does a Jew celebrate Christmas?
He installs a parking meter on the roof.
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Q: Many more jew jokes
Jewish women don’t like the 69 position because it’s too close to the gas chamber.
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Q: Did you hear about the new tires, Firestein?
A: They not only stop on a dime, they also pick it up!
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Q: What is a jews least favorite hotdog topping?
A: Sauerkraut.
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Q: What do you call someone from Israel that has to sneeze?
A: A Jew.
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Q: Why do Jewish men have to be circumcised?
A: Because a Jewish women wont touch anything unless it’s 20% off.
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Q: Why do jews wear yamakas?
A: Half of a hat, its cheaper.
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Q: Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backward?
A: They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.
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Q: Why were gentiles invented?
A: Somebody has to pay retail.
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Q: What’s the best way to get a Jewish girls number?
A: Roll up her sleeve.
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Q: How do you find the Jews in your neighborhood?
A: Roll a penny down the road.
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Q: What do you call a Jewish knight?
A: Sir Cumsiced.
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Q: What’s the difference between Santa and a Jew?
A: Santa goes down the chimney.
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Q: What do you call the steaks ordered by ten Jewish men?
A: Fillet minyan.
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Q: Where does Moshe hide money from his wife Sadie?
A: Under the vacuum cleaner.
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Q: What does a Jewish pirate say?
A: Ahoy vey!
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Q: How does Moses make his tea?
A: Hebrews it.
I’m serious. That Israeli how he does it.
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Q: What do you call gingers in Auschwitz?
A: Concentrated orange Jews.
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Q: Why is money green?
A: Because Jews pick it before it is ripe!
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Q: Jewish people are the most optimistic people in the world.
A: They have some cut off before they even know how big it will get.
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Q: Did you hear about the Jewish troll?
A: His name was Rumpled Foreskin.
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Q: Why didn’t Anne Frank finish her diary?
A: She needed more concentration.
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Q: What is the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision?
A: In a crucifixion, they throw out the whole Jew.
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Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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Q: What did the Jewish peadophile say to the child?
A: “Wanna buy some candy?”
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Q: What do you call a potato that picks on Jews?
A: A dicTATER.
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Q: Why don’t people mug Jews on Yom Kippur?
Dey fast.
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Q: What would you call a bloodthirsty Jew on a rampage?
A: Genghis Cohen.
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Q: What goes faster than a speeding bullet?
A: A jew with a coupon.
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Q: Would you believe the Flinstones were Jewish?
A: Yabba Dabba Jew!
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Q: What is the proper blessing to recite before logging on to the Internet?
A: “Modem anachnu loch”.
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Q: Who was the most well known Jewish cook?
A: Hitler!
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Q: Did you hear about the new facility Kraft Foods is building in Israel?
A: It’s called “Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Q: Why do Jews have big noses?
A: Because the air is free.
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Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He opened his gas bill.
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Q: How do you say FUCK YOU in Jewish?
A: “Trust me!”
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Q:That’s the definition of a queer Jew?
A: Someone that likes girls more than money.
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Q: What’s the difference between a boy scout and a jew?
A: A boy scout comes back from his camp.

By | 2017-08-11T22:25:04+00:00 juli 30th, 2017|Funny jokes|0 Comments

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