Kids jokes

//Kids jokes

Kids jokes



Do you like all kids jokes? Read here our collection of the best all children jokes. If you have a really good all the kids joke, please send it to us so you can help to create the ultimate list of all the kids jokes.

Kids jokes

Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together!
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Q: What is the most hardworking part of the eye?
A: the pupil
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Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.
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Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A: At the BP station!
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Q: What do you call a baby monkey?
A: A Chimp off the old block.
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Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver.
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Q: “How do you shoot a killer bee?”
A: “With a bee bee gun.”
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Q: How do you drown a Hipster?
A: In the mainstream.
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Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them
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Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and quackers!
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Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner?
A: Man, that hit the “spot.”
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Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer!
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Q: What is the tallest building in the world?
A: The library! It has the most stories!
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Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time
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Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor?
A: Because it was not peeling well
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Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!
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Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
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Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!
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Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
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Q: What is the best day to go to the beach?

A: Sunday, of course!
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Q: What bow can’t be tied?
A: A rainbow!
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Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
A: Spring time.
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Q: Where did the computer go to dance?
A: To a disc-o.
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Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs?
A: A Bed
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Q: What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs?
A: A penny.
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Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

A: Because he had no-body to go with.
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Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
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Q: What three candies can you find in every school?
A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
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Q: Why are pirates called pirates?
A: Cause they arrrrr.
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Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?

A: Cell phones.
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Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?
A: In snow banks.
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Q: What washes up on very small beaches? A: Microwaves!
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Q: What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move?
A: The road!
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Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
A: The scientists were brainstorming!
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Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a date!
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Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
A: Hi Cliff!
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Q: What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent?
A: Show me the honey!
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Q: What do you call a funny mountain?
A: hill-arious
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Q: What did the candle say to the other candle?
A: I’m going out tonight.
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Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
A: Because he was sitting on the deck!
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Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?
A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
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Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A: I think I’m coming down with something!
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Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game?
A: I want a wii-match!
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Q: What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers?
A: the Telephone.
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Q: How do you make an Octupus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles
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Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot!
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Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck!
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Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.
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Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital?
A: To get a tweetment.
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Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
A: A Clausterphobic
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Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A: Ouch
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Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend?
A: Because his friend said dinner is on me.
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Q: Why is a 2016 calendar more popular than a 2015 calendar?
A: It has more dates.
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Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
A: Never mind, it’s over your head!
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Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?
A: Flood lights!
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Q: Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?
A: Because they’re all in High School!
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Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: “Smiles”, because there is a mile between each “s”!



Q: What did the penny say to the other penny?
A: We make perfect cents.
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Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.
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Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?
A: So he could have sweet dreams.
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Q: Why did the robber take a bath?
A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
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Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
A: Your dyslexic
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Q: What music are balloons scared of?
A: Pop music
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Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
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Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
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Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
A: They don’t have the guts.
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Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
A: SUPPLIES!
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Q: Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon?
A: Because he was a paleontologist.
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Q: What happened when a faucet, a tomato and lettuce were in a race?
A: The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
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Q: Why was the student’s report card wet?
A: It was below C level!
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Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
A: Tentacles.
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Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
A: Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

Q: Why should you take a pencil to bed?
A: To draw the curtains!
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Q: How many books can you put in an empty backpack?
A: One! After that its not empty!
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Q: What kind of flower doesn’t sleep at night?
A: The Day-zzz
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Q: Did you hear they’re changing the flooring in daycare centers?
A: They’re calling it infant-tile!
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Q: What kind of button won’t unbutton?
A: A bellybutton!
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Q: What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio?
A: Cool Music.
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Q: What goes up when the rain comes down?
A: An umbrella.
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Q: Why did the belt go to jail?
A: Because it held up a pair of pants!
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Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
A: Your dyslexic
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Q: Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
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Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch dog.
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Q: What did the man say to the wall?
A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster ya!
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Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing!
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Q: Why do girls scouts sell cookies?
A: They wanna make a sweet first impression.
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Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A: It let out a little wine!
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Q: What kind of berry has a coloring book?
A: A crayon-berry
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Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
A: Odor in the court.
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Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: Stick with me and we will go places!

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Q: Which month do soldiers hate most?
A: The month of March!
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Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster you!
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Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?
A: Don’t look, I’m changing.
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Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours?
A: Nacho Cheese
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Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
A: Post Office!
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Q: How do you find a Princess?
A: You follow the foot Prince.
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Q: What streets do ghosts haunt?
A: Dead ends!
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Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
A: Dam!
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Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?
A: Your pointless!
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Q: Why did the computer break up with the internet?
A: There was no “Connection”.
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Q: Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case they get a hole in one!
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Q: Why can’t you take a nap during a race?
A: Because if you snooze, you loose!
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Q: Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?
A: Because he wanted to work over-time!
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Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
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Q: What do you call a book that’s about the brain?
A: A mind reader.
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‘Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on?
A: Bare-foot.
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Q: What can you serve but never eat?
A: A volleyball.
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Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear?
A: Sneakers.
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Q: Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
A: So he could tie the score.
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Q: Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin?
A: They both depend on the batter.
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Q: What did the alien say to the garden?
A: Take me to your weeder.
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Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?
A: Because they cantaloupe.
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Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A: I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Q: How do baseball players stay cool?
A: They sit next to their fans.
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Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had too many problems.
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Q: How did the farmer mend his pants?
A: With cabbage patches!
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Q: Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory?
A: He couldn’t concentrate!
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Q: How do you repair a broken tomato?
A: Tomato Paste!
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Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A: Because his parents were in a jam!
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Q: What was the Cat in the Hat looking for in the toilet?
A: For thing one and thing two.
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Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter?
A: Patty!
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Q: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?
A: A deviled egg!
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Q: What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?
A: A turkey!
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Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: He felt crummy!
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Q: Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?
A: She couldn’t control her pupils!
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Q: Why does a hummingbird hum?
A: It doesn’t know the words!
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Q: What do you call a house that likes food?
A: a Condoment!
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Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
A: Because they dropped out of school!
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Q: Where do bulls get their messages?
A: On a bull-etin board.
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Q: What do bulls do when they go shopping?
A: They CHARGE!
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Q: What runs but can’t walk?
A: The faucet!
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Q: Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
A: To the Baa Baa shop!
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Q: What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter?
A: Jellyfish!
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Q: What do cats eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Crispies!
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Q: Who goes to the bathroom in the middle of a party?
A: A party pooper.
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Q: Why can’t a leopard hide?
A: Because he’s always spotted!
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Q: When do you stop at green and go at red?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon!
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Q: Why did God make only one Yogi Bear?
A: Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo
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Q: Why did the boy eat his homework?
A: Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Q: Why is Basketball such a messy sport?
A: Because you dribble on the floor!
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Q: How do you communicate with a fish?
A: Drop him a line!



By | 2017-10-23T20:20:43+00:00 juli 12th, 2017|Funny jokes|0 Comments

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