Lesbian jokes

//Lesbian jokes

Lesbian jokes

Lesbian jokes

Q: What drives a lesbian up the wall?
A: A crack in the ceiling.

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Q: What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a lesbian?
A: You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

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Q: Being a lesbian is ok, being bisexual is ok, being straight is ok, what’s not ok?
A: Wearing crocs!

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Q: What do lesbians call viagra?
A: Batteries.

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Q: What is the leading cause in death with lesbians?
A: Hairballs.

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Q: What do you call a horny lesbian dinosaur?
A: A clitosaurus.

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Q: What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
A: Toys for Twats.

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Q: What’s the difference between a lesbian and a ritz cracker?
A: One’s a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.

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Q: What do lesbians do after they have an argument?
A: They go home and lick each others wounds!

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A woman got lost in the desert. She stumbled across a lamp, rubbed it, and out came a genie.
The genie offered her the traditional three wishes.
Her first wish was to be powerful, intelligent, and loved by all.
The genie thought a moment, snapped his fingers, and turned her into a lesbian.

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Q: Why was the lesbian sick?
A: She was lacking vitamin D.

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Q: What do you call a lesbian who fell asleep tanning?
A: Fried fish.

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Q: What do lesbians need to get married?
A: A Licker license!

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Q: What do you call a 300 pound lesbian?
A: A bush hog.

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Q: What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like?
A: Depends.

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Q: What kind of humor do lesbians like?
A: Tongue in cheek.

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Q: What do you call a 100 pound lesbian?
A: A weedeater.

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Q: Why do lesbians suck at cooking?
A: They always eat out.

Q: Why do gay men like to have lesbian friends?
A: Someone has to mow the yard.

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Q: What is the definition of confusion?
A: 3 blind lesbians in a fish market.

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Q: How can you tell you’re in a tough lesbian bar?
A: Even the pool table has no balls.

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Q: Why don’t fem lesbians go on dates?
A: Because it’s hard to eat Jenny Craig when you’ve got Mary Kay on your face.

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Q: What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
A: A Klondike!

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Q: Where can you find a penis on a lesbian?
A: Maybe you should ask Dick van Dyke.

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Q: Why did the lesbian refuse to give her girlfriend a high five?
A: She wanted to preserve her palm.

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Q: What card game do lesbians play?
A: Poke-her.

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Q: What do you call three lesbians in a closet?
A: A Licker cabinet.

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Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
“You know, we do taste like chicken!”

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Q: A lesbian slept with 13 women in one night and suddenly died.
A: At her autopsy it was discovered she had died from a crack overdose.

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Q: Did you hear about the lesbian who took too much Viagra?
A: She couldn’t get her tongue back into her mouth for over a week!

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Q: What do you call 25 lesbians stacked on top of each other?
A: A block of flaps!

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Q: Why did the lesbo stick a potato up her vagina?
A: So her girlfriend could enjoy some chips with her fish.

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Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
A: “I’ll see you next month.”

More lesbian jokes

Q: Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?
Neither. They both eat out.

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Q: Why were lesbians invented?
So that feminists wouldn’t breed!

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Q: What do you call two lesbians floating down a river.
A: Fur Traders.

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Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.

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Q: What did one lesbian say to another?
A: “Your face or mine?”

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Q: What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
A: Two can chew!

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Q: Why do lesbians shave there vaginas?
A: So they don’t start a fire grinding.

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Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Both of them.

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Q: What do you call two lesbians on their period?
A: Finger Painting.

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Q: Why are lesbians lousy construction workers?
A: They don’t know how to handle wood.

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Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
A: Single!

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Q: What do Polish lesbians use for a lubricant?
A: Tartar sauce!

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Q: What does Santa get a lesbian for Christmas?
A: A new carpet to munch on.

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Q: What do you call a man’s vagina?
A: Mangina.

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Q: The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
A: Apparently HD was the wrong answer.

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Q: How many screws are there in a lesbians coffin?
A: None, Its all tongue and groove!

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Q: Did you hear about the new politically-correct term for lesbians?
A: Vagitarians.

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Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to change it, two to organize the potluck and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience.

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Q: Have you heard about the new lesbian style of running shoe: the dykee?
A: It has an extra long tongue and only takes one finger to get it off.

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Q: What do you call a lesbian with 100 semiautomatic rifles?
A: Militia Etheridge.

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Q: What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A: Gaylick.

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Q: What’s the most important question on the minds of Alaskan lesbians?
A: What would ya do oh oh for a Klondyke bar?

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Q: What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
A: Well hung.

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Q: What do you call lesbian twins?
A: Lick-a-likes.

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Q: What do you call a lesbian’s closet?
A: A lick-her cabinet.

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Q: Why did the lesbian build a shelf?
A: To hold her shoulders

By | 2017-10-23T21:07:32+00:00 juli 30th, 2017|Funny jokes|0 Comments

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