Pick up lines for girls
Boy, are you a spur-of-the-moment pedicure?
‘Cuz I’m suddenly really regretting not shaving earlier.
Are you an Uber surge during a rainstorm?
Because I’m down if it means getting out of these wet clothes.
Are you my skin after I stress-eat a bunch of cheese during finals week?
Because I’m dying for a facial.
Are you the online order I placed a few days ago?
Cuz I’ve been waiting for you all day.
Am I on an episode of Fixer Upper?
Because I’ve never seen hardwood like that in real life.
You’re just like a wine tasting. They say to spit, but I always prefer swallowing.
Are you my Instagram feed right before bedtime?
‘Cuz I’m about to double-tap you over and over again until I pass out.
Are you my bank account after the direct deposit hits?
Because I’m about to go to town.
Ask me why I’m so tired. It’s because I’ve been kegeling all day.
Are you a supermarket sample?
‘Cuz I wanna taste you again and again without any sense of shame.
I’m just like a pore strip. Hard to get off, but extremely satisfied once you do.